Magic 8-Ball
by Dreamerdragon
Summary: Sequel to my story Camcorder. Smeagol finds a Magic 8-Ball then loses it. Merry and Pippin find it and chaos ensues.
1. Smeagol finds a third Precious

**This is a sequel to my other story Camcorder. I'm pretty sure you can read this one without reading Camcorder, so it'll save you time. :)**** I hope you read this and enjoy it. I don't own Lord of the Rings. (Can you imagine if I did *imagines screams and monsters stomping towns and laughs nervously*) We wouldn't want that.**

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Sméagol climbed down the side of the mountain. A small object caught his eye. He cocked his head and went down to it. Reaching out, he stopped himself. It could be dangerous… ah, who cares? He took a hold of it and lifted it into the air.

The magic-8 ball glinted in the dying sunlight. He turned it, examining every inch, noting the dark window on it. This would do. This would hold him over until he got Precious back. He grinned a toothy grin. "Precious." he whispered. "Precious the thirds."

That night he discovered if he asked it a question, it would answer. At first, it scared him. Until he realized he could ask it if he would get Precious back. "Wills Sméagol gets Precious back?"

The response was this: _Ask Again Later._

He growled and shook it.

_Replay Hazy Try Again._

He banged it on a rock.

_My Sources Say No._

"TELL SMÉAGOL YESES!"

_Outlook Not So Good._

He gave it one final mighty shake.

_Without A Doubt._

It was as close to a yes as he was going to get. He'd have to take it.

He went out and caught a fish to eat. After doing so, he laid on his back to ask more questions. He found it wouldn't answer if he was on his back, so he had to sit up. He asked if Precious was near. _My Reply Is No._ Would he find it soon? _Most likely._ He shook it and asked again, and could have sworn for a second it said: _Dude, you've already found it when you found your second 'Precious'._ He couldn't be for certain so he decided to go to sleep. He yawned, using the 8-Ball for a pillow.

During the night, he rolled over and off the cliff it went. It smacked its way down to a rather large rock. It laid half in a crevasse.

"MY PRECIOUS!" he wailed the next morning. "Where is Precious?"

"Told you it was bad ideas." Gollum hissed.

"Hushes. Sméagol thinking."

"We'll be here for a whiles."

Sméagol sighed but ignored his other personality's comment. He peered over the edge to see if it fell. He saw nothing at first, but then noticed it half hidden. He made his way down, but was stopped halfway. Voices were coming toward him. Should he risk it? No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. UGH! He climbed back up praying that no one would find his Precious the third. He peeked as the passers-by passed. The Fellowship. He growled then noticed one the Hobbits climbing the rock hiding the 8-Ball.

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**What did you think?**


	2. The Author Gets A Call

Dreamerdragon sat there writing away, when the telephone on her desk rang. "Hello? Oh, Gandalf! How have you- what? They did what? Oh. Oh, oh, oh! I-I'm so sorry. I didn't realize- yes. I _am_ the one who wrote the camcorder in. Yes, I'm the one who wrote the magic 8-ball in. And- yes, yes- I'm sorry about the elephant, ok?" she rubbed the bridge of her nose, as the wizard on the other end continued to ramble.

"Well, I'm sorry! I thought it would be funny. I realize that. I-yes I know that Middle-Earth is about to implode. Yes, I know what happened to Legolas's hair. I was simply- I- Can I get a word in edge wise? No? Course not. Don't blame me! I can't help that I love J. R. R. Tolkien's books. J. R. R. TOLKIEN! Turn your stinking hearing aid up. I just merely wrote a FAN fiction. That's it. You know what; I have to go. I obviously have to correct the mess I've made. I have to go! Good-bye!" she slammed the receiver down.

She glanced at the notebook and pen before her and grinned mischievously. Gandalf wanted her to change it? So be it. Let the games begin.

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**I know: weird. If you're mad, I'm sorry. If it's confusing… I'm sorry.**


	3. Stupid Crebain

**Sorry it took so long for an update. Here is the next chapter of Magic 8-Ball. Hope you enjoy. :)**

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Pippin dramatically hauled himself onto a rather large rock. He stood on top of it, panting. It dawned on him that he could have simply walked around it like everyone else was. He began climbing back down when halfway his foot slipped, and down he went. Fortunately, Merry was there to cushion his fall.

"Ack!" Merry grunted when Pip landed on him.

"Merry?" he crawled off. "Merry, are you alright?"

"Do I look it?"

"Merry. Pippin." Aragorn called. "Come, we must keep moving."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Merry grumbled peeling himself off the ground. "Thanks Pip, I think I really have broken something."

"Perhaps it's a carrot again?"

Merry reached into his pocket and withdrew a piece broken celery. He was about to bite down on it when Sam snatched it from him. He glared angrily, obviously still a bit ticked over the camcorder incident that he coerced both of them to never speak of again.

Speaking of the Camcorder, they had to ditch it. It wouldn't work no matter what they did and Gandalf refused to do anything to help. Even though it was gone, the damage had been done. Namely Legolas' hair, which would never be the same. Well, at least until it grew back anyway. Which he had time for.

"Merry! Pippin!" Aragorn called again.

"We're coming." Pippin answered.

As they rushed to catch up, Gandalf decided they should stop for a break. A decision he would soon regret. After everyone set there bags down and sat to rest for a few, Sam built a fire and started cooking. Boromir called for Merry and Pippin to join him for a sparring match.

"Two, one, five. Good! Very good!" Boromir praised Pippin.

"Move your feet." Aragorn commanded from the sidelines.

"You look good, Pippin." Merry commented about his sparring.

"Thanks."

Boromir switched to Merry.

Gimli was grumbling (rather loudly) about no one listening or asking his opinion, or something like that. Nobody was really paying him any attention so they couldn't be for certain. He was about to shout when Pippin yelped.

The Hobbit's sword clattered to the ground. Boromir exclaimed that he was sorry, but Pippin kicked him in the shin. Merry took the opportunity to clobber him in the hip with the flat of his sword, and the two of them tackled Boromir to the ground.

"For the Shire!"

"Hold him! Hold him down, Merry!"

Boromir laughed as the three of them wrestled.

"We're winning! We're winning!" Pippin exclaimed. "No, we're not! No, we're not! Abandon the mission! Abandon the mission!"

They both leapt up, but before they could get to far Boromir grabbed Merry, and wrapped his arm around his neck and began to rub his knuckles on his head. Merry struggled and managed to escape just as Legolas shouted.

"Crebain from Dunland!"

That set everyone into a frenzy. Gimli, of course, complaining about how no one _ever_ listens to him, but listens to the Elf instead. Stupid Crebain. They dove under boulders and sparsely covered bushes.

"Merry." Pippin whispered as they hid under a bush.

"Shh!"

He poked him hard in the shoulder. "Merry."

"What!" he hissed rubbing the now sore spot.

"What's that?"

"What's what?"

"That!" Pippin yanked him to where he could see where he was pointing.

"Dunno. Let's get it."

Merry and Pippin waited expectantly as Gandalf looked the small globe over. He could have sworn the symbol on it resembled an eight.

"Is it a palantir?" Aragorn tugged at his bottom lip.

"No, I don't believe so."

"Can we keep it!?" Pippin held his hand out.

"After the last fiasco? I should think not!" Gimli roared, causing Pippin to withdraw his hand. "Have we learned nothing about giving these two buffoons anything that does anything!?"

Everyone stared at him blankly making for a very awkward silence.

"I didn't realize anyone said anything about giving it to them." Frodo said silently, taking a large step back. Sam and Legolas nodded in agreement, following suit.

"It says stuff!" Pippin danced happily in place. "Here," he snatched it from the old wizard's hand. He gave it a hard shake, turning the dark window upward. "See?" He motioned to the window. Everyone had been expecting it to say something verbally. They all leaned in to read the words: _Ask Again Later_.

"So… you can ask it stuff?" Sam scratched his head.

Pippin shrugged. "Guess so. Um… ah! Is Gimli insane?" He shook it up.

_Signs Point To Yes._

"It does know."

"I'm not- I'm not insane!" Gimli bellowed. "What are these supposed signs!?"

Legolas pulled his hood onto his head, as almost everyone else whistled Dixie.

"I don't know, Gandalf." Sam began. "If we let these two have this thing it maybe like last time. We'll all be humiliated."

"I don't really see how it can cause a problem. It doesn't have a window like the last one did." Pippin defended. "Besides, Gandalf, don't you always say that we need to give folks second chances?"

The Wizard rubbed his temples. "We've give you two so many 'second chances' it's not even funny."

"If it causes problems we can get rid of it. No questions asked." Merry added. "We promise."

"Uncross you figures, both of you." he didn't even have to look up. They complied. "One problem." They nodded. "One problem and it's gone for good. Got it?"

They nodded. "Yes, sir!"

"What!? Obviously we've learned nothing from last time!" Gimli began to rant and rave but was quickly cut off by a gag Boromir made.

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**So what'd ya think?**


	4. Pass of Caradhras

"Will Frodo fall face first into the snow?" Merry asked the 8-Ball. After the Crebain incident, the Fellowship had opted to take the Pass of Caradhras. Another bad move in more than one way.

_As I See It: Yes_.

"Hey, Frodo it says-"

"Quit giving away the story line!" Frodo yelled just as his foot slipped causing him to roll a good ways in the snow. Aragorn rushed to aid, helping him to his feet. As Frodo checked for the Ring (which, amazingly, had fallen from his neck, even though we all thought the chain was there to prevent that), Boromir reached down almost automatically, and lifted the very object of desire from the snow.

"It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt-" Boromir started, whist ignoring Aragorn's calls.

"WILL BOROMIR GO MAD AND START MUTTERING MUMBO JUMBO ABOUT INSANE THINGS!?" Pippin screamed at the 8-Ball, interrupting him.

_It Is Certain_.

"It knows you Boromir! Almost to well. Hmm…" he rubbed his chin. "Suspicious…"

Gandalf threw his hands into the air and turned to continue walking. "Hobbits," he muttered. "Can't live with them, and unfortunately can't live without them. Not you Sam. Or Frodo. I can live with you two." he answered Sam's hurt look.

"I swear," Frodo snatched the Ring from Boromir and gave Pip a dope slap. "I swear one more time…"

"One more time what?"

Frodo growled at his cousin before storming past, slipping on the snow again. He grumbled, getting back up, and ramming the chain over his head.

"Are w-we going to f-f-freeze to death?" Pippin chattered as Boromir held him and Merry above the deepening snow. It didn't really do that much good with the wind causing snow to pile onto them anyway.

_Better Not Tell You Now_.

"If we wait we may be frozen by then."

Legolas chose that moment to walk past. Everyone had to make a double take to make sure what they were seeing. He was walking _on top_ of the snow. Show off. "There is a fell voice on the air." he called back.

"It's Saruman!" Gandalf shouted.

"He's trying to bring down the mountain! Gandalf, we must turn back!" Aragorn yelled.

"No!" he began reciting an incantation to counter Saruman.

About that time, a bolt of lightning struck the mountain above them.

"Great. That worked out perfectly." Gimli spoke just as ice and snow landed on them.

They struggled to reach the surface. Legolas appeared first; then Aragorn, who helped Sam and Frodo out; Gimli roared as Legolas pulled him out; Boromir shoved Pippin out, Merry following; finally, Gandalf was out.

"We must get off the mountain!" Boromir called.

"Thank you for pointing out the obvious!" Gimli retorted.

"We must make for the Gap of Rohan, and take the west road to my city!"

"You buffoon-"

"The Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Isengard!" Aragorn interrupted.

"We cannot pass over a mountain. Let us go under it. Let us go through the Mines of Moria."

"Let the Ring-bearer decide." Gandalf looked to Frodo.

"Ooh! Ooh! Frodo! Use the ball!" Merry and Pippin exclaimed.

"No."

"Please?"

"No!"

"Pretty please?"

Frodo rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Are we seriously going to go through this again?" They gave him the saddest possible puppy eyes. "Fine…" He grabbed the 8-Ball. "Should we go through the Mines of Moria?"

_Concentrate And Ask Again_.

"Should we. Go. Through. The. Mines of stinking Moria!?"

"I resent that remark!" Gimli squealed.

"I figured he would have said 'I resemble that remark'." Merry giggled to Pippin. They both snickered as Gilmi shot them a look of death.

_Yes_.

"The mines it is." Frodo tossed the ball to Merry.

"So be it." Gandalf sighed.


	5. Moria Says What

**Thank you so much for the reviews thus far, they've made me very happy. :) This story seems to be well liked so far. I hope I can keep up with expectations.**

**I would like to thank **_**5SecstoThrowItFB **_**(hope I didn't spell that wrong) for the idea of Pippin asking stupid questions that he already knows the answers to at very dire moments. Namely while being chased down by the Balrog. *cough* *cough* Silly Pippin. Hope you all like. :)**

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Gandalf pushed against the stone doors to Moria. He had been saying every word he could think of, in every known language. He finally gave it up, sitting down in a huff. "Oh, it's useless."

"Let's see… is it a simple word?" Merry held the 8-Ball so he and Pippin could both see the answer in the moonlight.

_Outlook Good._

"Is it… a food?"

_Yes Definitely._

"It's a riddle." Frodo stood. "Speak 'friend' and enter. What's the Elvish word for 'friend'?" he turned to the old wizard.

"Mellon."

The sound of stone scraping on stone told everyone that the password had worked. Well, besides the obvious swinging open of the doors, of course.

"No one seriously thought of that?" Frodo mumbled.

"So much for being a food." Gimli mocked Merry and Pippin.

"But melon is a type of food." The latter grinned.

The Dwarf open and closed his mouth for a moment before growling and storming through the doorway. However, he didn't stay mad for long, because just then he had to gloat to Legolas. "Soon, Master Elf, you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the Dwarves. Roaring fires, malt beer, ripe meat off the bone!" Gandalf lit his staff. "This, my friend, is the home of my cousin Balin."

"I think friend is a bit much at this time." Legolas ran a hand self-consciously through his hair.

Gimli continued unhindered. "And they call it a mine. A mine!"

"This is no mine. It's a tomb." Boromir said observing the skeletons strewn around the room.

"No… no." Gimli wailed. "NO!"

Legolas yanked an arrow out of a skull. "Goblins." Everyone readied their weapons.

"We make for the Gap of Rohan. We should never have come here." Boromir looked to Aragorn.

"FORGET IT! WE ARE NOT MAKING FOR THE GAP OF ROHAN! THAT SUBJECT HAS READY BEEN CLEARED UP." Gimli thundered.

"But-"

"END OF DISCUSSION!"

"All right. All right."

While they had their little squabble, or rather Gimli's overreaction, Merry had leaned on the doorframe. It suddenly shifted; bring down practically the entire wall.

"Leave it to Merry and Pippin to be the only ones to able to destroy something that has stood the passage of time." Boromir sighed once the dust and stone had settled. Everyone else nodded in silent agreement.

"We now have but one choice." Gandalf shot the said Hobbits a look as he relit his staff. "We must face the long dark of Moria. Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things then Orcs, in the deep places of the world. Quietly now. It's a four-day journey to the other side."

"Four days!?" Pippin shouted.

"Shh!" everyone hissed.

"Sorry. But four days? Maybe we should have stayed on the mountain."

Gandalf lifted his staff and whacked him on the head had hard as he dared. He didn't want the hollow sound to alert anything nearby.

O~o~O

Steep stairs. More steep stairs. Three passages. Three choices. No memories. Great. Just great.

Merry and Pippin sat asking the 8-ball questions, while Gandalf plopped down to try to think which passage they should take, and the other built a fire. He and Frodo discussed Sméagol after hearing his distant rambling about the three missing precious's.

"He's mad." Frodo decided. "Sméagol is mad."

"Well, just from the fact he appeared way to early says that. Or he's just very lost."

"My money's on mad."

"Mine too."

"Are we going to be leaving anytime soon?" Gimli called up to them.

"No." Pippin answered.

Gimli's roar reverberated off the walls and ceiling. Loud whispering came from the others who were obviously trying to keep Gimli from killing the young Hobbit. Even though we're all certain they would like to do the same.

"Ah! It's that way." Gandalf motioned toward right passage.

"He's remembered!" Merry jumped up, and made his way to the wizard.

"No. But the air doesn't smell so foul down here. If in doubt, Meriadoc, always follow your nose."

Once they had made their way through it, they came to rather large extremely high room thingy: Dwarrowdelf. If those seemly thousands of pillars could talk, the stories they could tell. The Fellowship all stared in awe for a few moments before Gandalf ushered them to move along. Once they got across, something caught Gimli's eye and sent him running ahead.

"Gimli!" Gandalf exclaimed.

"No." He cried stopping in front of a tomb. "No!" he slid to his knees. "Oh, no."

"Here lies Balin, son of Fundin, Lord of Moria." Gandalf entered and read the words off the tomb. "He is dead, then. It's as I feared." he took his head off and handed both it and his staff to Pippin. Way to go, Gandalf, you obvious _didn't_ learn anything from last time. He bent down and moved the skeletal hand off the book it was clutching. He lifted the book, and dirt and few pages fell from it. He began skimming it.

"We must move on. We cannot linger." Legolas muttered to Aragorn.

"'They have taken the bridge and the second hall.'" Gandalf read aloud. "'We have barred the gates, but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes. Drums… Drums in the deep. We cannot get out. A Shadow moves in the dark. We cannot get out. They are coming.'"

_BOOM!_

Everyone whipped around before realizing it had come from Pippin's direction. He had his eyes closed, face scrunched up, and hand reaching towards the floor. Gandalf's staff was lying there and the well that had had a skeleton on it was now gone.

"Fool of a Took!" Gandalf slammed the book closed. "I have you do one simple thing," he tossed the book aside and snatched his hat and staff up. "And you still mess it up!"

"I'm sorry." Pippin squeaked.

"Sorry isn't gonna cut it if we have legions of Orc upon us."

"If they didn't know we were here, they do now." Boromir spoke.

Gandalf would have responded to that, but about that time, a drum started thumping from the deep.

"Hold on a second!" Frodo was staring at a piece of parchment. "If we already know what's going to happen, why don't we just run? Avoid the whole fighting-and-thinking-Frodo's-dead mess?"

Everyone else withdrew pieces of parchment from their pockets as well. "We wouldn't have time. Says here only moments after the drums start beating, the Orc appear. And we don't have another exit." Gandalf scratched his head. Gimli grabbed Gandalf's staff and shook it.

_BOOM!_

"Now we have an exit." he said gruffly. Boromir rushed and closed the door off that they had come through.

"Works for me." Gandalf lead the others through the still smoking hole.

O~o~O

"Gandalf! What is that big thing chasing us?" Pippin shrieked, as they one by one dashed across the bridge.

"Good heavens, Peregrin Took! Do you ever listen to a word anyone says?" Gandalf shouted in exasperation.

"It says no." Merry suddenly said.

"What?"

"The ball… I-it said no to your question."

Gandalf face-palmed.

"Let me see it." Pippin seized it. "Um… Is the big thing chasing us a Balrog?"

_Signs Point To Yes_.

"I've already told you it was!" Gandalf screamed.

"Oh."

"'Oh.' All he can say is 'oh'." Gandalf stopped and turned to face the Balrog.

"WILL GANDALF SHOUT HIS FAMOUS LINE?" Pippin shook the 8-Ball up.

_Outlook Good._

Gandalf stared over the edge of the bridge. Tempting. The Balrog claimed his attention again with one long and mighty roar.

"I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor." He rose his staff light intensifying on it. "The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udun!" The Balrog raised its sword and brought it down onto Gandalf staff. Staff naturally winning. "Go back to the Shadow." The creature took a step out onto the bridge, cracking its whip. "You shall not pass!" he brought his staff down onto the bridge.

This caused the Balrog to take a single step back before it lunged onto the bride. Its weight being too much, it caused it crumble beneath it. It howled as it fell. Gandalf turned to join the others when the whip cracked and wrapped around his leg pulling him down. He finally words before falling were: 'Fly, you fools.'

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**Sorry this chapter was so long… I couldn't find a good place to cut it.**

**Just so you know. If you guys send me ideas for this story, but I don't use them; please don't get mad or anything. It may just simply be because I have something already worked out or just didn't think it went well with the flow of the story. Or with my *cough* horrible *cough* writing skills couldn't find a good way to put it in. Or by some slim chance was already gonna use something similar. I apologize in advance. *hugs***


	6. Things Are Happening Too Fast!

**I would like to thank The Book Guru for the idea.**

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The remaining members of the Fellowship quietly crossed into the tree line. Not a single word had been spoken since after exiting the Mines of Moria. Tears had been shed and prayers sent up. However, none were more sad the Pippin. He blamed himself for Gandalf's death. Aragorn tried to explain to him that it wasn't his fault, but to no avail.

"Will Pippin get out of the gloomy state he's in?" Merry asked the 8-Ball.

_Very Doubtful_.

"That's a bit much. Um…" he grinned. "Will Pip walk into a tree?"

"What kind of a question is-" WHAP! Pippin fell backwards onto the ground clutching the left side of his face. "Ow! Why'd you ask it that for!"

"Wanted to see if it'd work. And it did." Merry grinned down at him.

His cousin growled and got up. He charged and both of them went running through the trees, Gimli shouting about keeping close and a sorceress, or something like that. Once again no one was paying him any mind.

"Will you stop having people ignore me?" he growled.

Sorry.

The 8-Ball slipped from Merry's hand. He slid to a stop and turned, but Pippin was already shaking it up. "What did you ask it?"

"You'll see."

"Pip, tell me n- ACK!" he bent over coughing and sputtering. "WHAT DID YOU ASK IT!?"

"Whether or not you would choke on a bug. Will Merry choke on another?"

_You May Rely On It_.

"You didn't…"

"I did."

"Merry! Pippin!" Aragorn called.

"Give it back!" Merry lunged. Both Hobbits crashed into the ground. They fought for a few moments before he wrestled out of Pippin's hands. "Will Legolas trip on a tree root?"

"Don't drag me into this." Legolas mumbled, just moments before his foot struck a root. He face-planted, arrows splaying across the ground. "Why is everything happening so fast now! We have time!" he rolled over just in time to find an arrow in him face. It took him a moment to realize it wasn't his. And that it was attached to a bow. And to an Elf's hand.

He glanced around noting that they all did. Haldir stepped forward. "The Dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark."

Gimli huffed. "Never mind the two nitwits waking the dead!"

He looked over at him, face expressionless. (shocking)

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**Sorry this is so short. I'm like the worlds largest procrastinator so this was all I got down.**


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